when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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