Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
