Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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