my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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