After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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