There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
