she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
try to milk me bitch
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
