just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
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But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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