had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My ass is underappreciated
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
