I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
