It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
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I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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