it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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