I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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