yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
