i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
