Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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