Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
