i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
