just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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