I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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