I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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