Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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