i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
