i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
