i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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