well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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