he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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