i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
