my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Green mimosas i think yes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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