Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
