im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Your penis caused this!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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