If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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