I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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