Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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