Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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