Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
