Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
