So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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