Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
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