i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
