how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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