Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
