I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
