Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize