I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize