If that was your dad, he is hot
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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