Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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