It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
