alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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