Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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