operation harelip BJ is a go
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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