I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
