after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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