alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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