id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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