I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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