don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
