he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
