I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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