I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
