So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
