I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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