Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
