ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
