My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
