There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
